


Monster

by statisticsfag



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Angst, M/M, Spoilers, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 18:43:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4798310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/statisticsfag/pseuds/statisticsfag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS. Do not read unless you have seen the end credits on three (3) separate occasions in MGSV:TPP. </p>
<p>Vent piece from Kaz's point of view. Mostly for my own mental stability.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【翻译】Monster by statisticsfag](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5247677) by [zmzm007](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zmzm007/pseuds/zmzm007)



When the door closed, Kaz couldn’t help crashing down on the chair, his crutch clattering on the floor. His heart beat loud like thunderclap in his constricted chest. He hoped Ocelot hadn’t stayed at the door. _Ocelot._ Damn him. Damn him and his manipulative, treacherous ways.

Kaz’s head was jumbled with thoughts and emotions alike, the one resurfacing most often being anger. Hate. Bitterness. Anger. For a moment, he didn’t want to believe what Ocelot had just told him. But it was true. He could understand it now, how it made sense to things that had happened.

But still. Right now he hated Big Boss. And hated Ocelot.

Why did Snake choose to confide in Ocelot, and not him? Kaz didn’t believe that self-suggestion bullshit for a minute. Somehow, Ocelot must have been aware of what was going on the whole time. The bastard. Both of them. He was sure he could have kept up the act on Mother Base, if he had been privy to this plan beforehand. He was also sure that he wouldn’t feel so fucking _used_ right now.

What was the extent of Venom’s feelings, compared to Snake’s? He felt sick to his stomach. All this time, he had given what was left of his body to some stranger instead of Snake. Did Venom even want it? Did he just do what was expected of him in his role as “Big Boss”? Or did he take advantage of the situation? Post-comate amnesia was such a convenient excuse. Snake must have known – or at least guessed – that Kaz would want to resume the physical aspect of their relationship. Vile thoughts slithered into his mind. What if he had enjoyed it, knowing Kaz was pleased to let someone else fuck him. Maybe Snake had even asked for reports from Venom afterwards. Footage. The thought made bile rise in his throat. He thought he knew Snake, but after this stunt…

Kaz felt like his entire world was crashing down around him – again. He had thought that with Skull Face dead, he could let go of his resentment and anger, maybe even find some joy in life again. Preferably with Snake and Diamond Dogs. But no. That wasn’t a possibility, not even a dream anymore. Snake could go to hell. Kaz would be happy to help him get there faster.

His thoughts went around in circles, mind racing with questions and theories he wasn’t sure he wanted to find answers to. No explanation could soften the blow, or make things better. Maybe it was better for Kaz to hold on to the worst theories to fuel his anger, to keep him from falling for Snake’s charms ever again.

They had never been on exactly friendly terms with Ocelot, but after this… he didn’t know what to think. When Ocelot had confessed his love for the legend, albeit in a past tense, Kaz started to view him more as a threat. He had thought to be the winner of Snake’s affections, but now he wasn’t sure about that at all. He could imagine Ocelot secretly being pleased with himself as he saw Kaz disappear with Venom, knowing that it was all a lie, and only he had the truth of it. Fuck Ocelot.

How could Snake abandon him like this? Abandon the future they were building? Essentially dumping him without saying a word. Just disappearing. How could he not trust Kaz in this? It was disgusting. Horrid. Unforgivable.

And how the hell could he face Venom again? How the hell was he expected to keep supporting him, working with him? The near future felt empty. Hollow and cold. He wasn’t building the base for Snake, but for some… phantom. Sure, he had agreed to play his role, but reluctantly. He might appear accepting on the outside, but his only reason for tolerating Venom right now was to make him stronger. And the son too, David. He would use them both as the means for his revenge against Snake.

From now on, he wouldn’t think of Snake as a partner. Nor as a human. From now on, Snake was a monster.


End file.
